you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
