He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
