It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
