haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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