I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize