He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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