She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
