we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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