Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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