Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No I am not eating basil off your cock
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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