so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
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obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
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You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!