I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"