Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.

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  (650): Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points. http://tfl.nu/731b
  Replies (5) Good night (1759) Bad night (547)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts

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  (914): Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts http://tfl.nu/cnqz
  Replies (12) Good night (3338) Bad night (909)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning

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  (480): I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning http://tfl.nu/5v1w
  Replies (17) Good night (2807) Bad night (3460)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.

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  (402): i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more. http://tfl.nu/blv6
  Replies (17) Good night (889) Bad night (8921)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.

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  (313): Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays. http://tfl.nu/zion
  Replies (11) Good night (1125) Bad night (4622)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  why does the wii remote smell like your vag?

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  (512): why does the wii remote smell like your vag? http://tfl.nu/z7m2
  Replies (55) Good night (2167) Bad night (9221)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.

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  (253): You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me. http://tfl.nu/6xwb
  Replies (17) Good night (4054) Bad night (908)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.

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  (541): Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high. http://tfl.nu/kh91
  Replies (6) Good night (1679) Bad night (713)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.

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  (506): My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out. http://tfl.nu/qizv
  Replies (29) Good night (1071) Bad night (2069)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

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  (978): i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food http://tfl.nu/q8kr
  Replies (7) Good night (1184) Bad night (1504)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)

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  (774): I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-) http://tfl.nu/aq14
  Replies (8) Good night (1643) Bad night (653)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)

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  (775): Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume) http://tfl.nu/nwkp
  Replies (6) Good night (1603) Bad night (551)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook

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  (585): Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook http://tfl.nu/4sfp
  Replies (6) Good night (1609) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

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  (703): I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1... http://tfl.nu/7tjh
  Replies (2) Good night (1292) Bad night (449)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.

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  (202): I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll. http://tfl.nu/zni7
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (408)

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