Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...

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  (301): i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty... http://tfl.nu/gk7p
  Replies (23) Good night (4859) Bad night (861)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.

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  (253): dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it. http://tfl.nu/9jbv
  Replies (17) Good night (866) Bad night (5084)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Your godly.

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  (403): Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation. (1-403): Your godly. http://tfl.nu/7li2
  Replies (13) Good night (4180) Bad night (1040)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.

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  (402): From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own. http://tfl.nu/wlot
  Replies (4) Good night (1971) Bad night (1374)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem

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  (214): Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem http://tfl.nu/y1i7
  Replies (6) Good night (3443) Bad night (792)
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  (530): View more from California

  We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.

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  (530): We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security. http://tfl.nu/p79e
  Replies (3) Good night (2133) Bad night (622)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'

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  (734): he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?' http://tfl.nu/pjxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2174) Bad night (891)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision

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  (631): Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision http://tfl.nu/3v04
  Replies (24) Good night (1389) Bad night (2554)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots

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  (605): When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots http://tfl.nu/ud2p
  Replies (7) Good night (1293) Bad night (592)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.

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  (603): I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar. http://tfl.nu/vit3
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (1212)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point

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  (828): At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point http://tfl.nu/0f47
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (410)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?

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  (304): How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service? http://tfl.nu/aku2
  Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (335)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...

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  (412): It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down... http://tfl.nu/0wb7
  Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (776)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.

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  (479): I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital. http://tfl.nu/6mwi
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (255)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.

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  (815): Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on. http://tfl.nu/1k0i
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (176)

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