Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".

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(901): View more from Tennessee

why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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(515): View more from Iowa

...there is blood under my fingernails.

(515): View more from Iowa

...I hope my roomates are okay.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.

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