Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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