Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I lost the right to judge tonight
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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