Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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