she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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