why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
