My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
