Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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