I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
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He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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