Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
