i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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