I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
