why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
