Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I look better un-naked...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
