Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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