Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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