Swine flu. Run for my life!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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