So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
