Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
