No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
