I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
