So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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