Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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