She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
