And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
