my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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