he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just found puke in my bra..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
