what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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