You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
