summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
