Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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