Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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