My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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