you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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