you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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