so explain again why im purple
no
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
