You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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