Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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