Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
