I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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