OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
