he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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