Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
