i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
God I need to hump something, right now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
