btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
this is an emotional support booty call
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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