new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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