I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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