I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
