he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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